I have always lied my ass off and smiled while being interviewed for a job. My last one was on April 1st of 2009 - appropriately, on April Fools Day. I usually behave like a circus or a rodeo clown during these interviews...always trying to please and entertain. Optimism and enthusiasm flows from me like golden rays of sunshine. If one looked closely enough, you'd almost see a rainbow behind me.
And I'd always wear a very BIG goofy smile like a inbred moron, trying to appear very friendly and easy to get along with. My eyes, always imploring, "Hire me! You need me! You like me! I need a frigging job!"
But those bastards saw right through me. Somehow they just knew that I was nothing more than a self-defeating and pessimistic slob; they didn't even need me to take that 20-minute long psychological evaluation at the end of my initial job application. My niffy little updated resume had been a exercise is futility. Silly foolish me.
Now I really DO feel like a moron...just like the village idiot.
All my singing and dancing and positive optimism has never worked before, because they thought I was TOO DAMN OLD - senile at the ripe old age of 55. Pity. They won't even hire me to lick the scum between their toes because I'm either "overqualified" or I don't have the "necessary job skills"...or just because I'm an unemployed clown.
McDonald's feels the same way about me. They won't hire me either because they're too afraid I might leave them in a few short months (after investing all that intensive training in me) to go work for Burger King.
I'm only honest about those things now because it's too late for me to get ANY job now, let alone one in my last field of work. Maybe I'll never work again, who knows.
Just again this morning on CNN they said most of the jobs that were lost since 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2010, were probably lost forever.
Any new jobs these days go to younger people that are first entering the labor force. Old geezers like me are screwed. The "elderly" nowadays includes everyone that's over 40 years old...only they don't qualify for pensions, Medicare, Medicaid, or Social Security benefits...not even for discounts on their bus fares or at the noon matinee movies.
They're lucky if they can get food stamps and find a place at the homeless shelters. I called a Catholic charity and only got an answering machine saying they could no longer provide any additional services. The same thing for housing or utility assistance - all social services are stretched to the limit in most states.
I used to want to be younger man when I had a job, now I can't WAIT until I'm in a wheel chair or walking on a cane! Because then maybe I can get some damn assistance! I shouldn't have to sell pencils on the side walk or hold my hat out for spare change either. Not in America!
The jobs interviews aren't really "interviews" at all. They just call in a handful of old people every once in a while to make it look good, like they "tried". Most of the time the interviewer is younger, and unless you have the latest Blackberry or iPhone with a wired glued to your ear, they'll probably think you're not technically sophisticated or intelligent enough to adapt to the latest trends in the marketplace.
I smiled like a moron for these people, but to them, I must have looked more like the village idiot, because all I saw was pity in their eyes, not friendliness.
Maybe I should apply for a job as a damn clown. Maybe I'm not too old or overqualified for that position.
I'm already the village idiot, but that doesn't pay at all.
But those bastards saw right through me. Somehow they just knew that I was nothing more than a self-defeating and pessimistic slob; they didn't even need me to take that 20-minute long psychological evaluation at the end of my initial job application. My niffy little updated resume had been a exercise is futility. Silly foolish me.
Now I really DO feel like a moron...just like the village idiot.
All my singing and dancing and positive optimism has never worked before, because they thought I was TOO DAMN OLD - senile at the ripe old age of 55. Pity. They won't even hire me to lick the scum between their toes because I'm either "overqualified" or I don't have the "necessary job skills"...or just because I'm an unemployed clown.
McDonald's feels the same way about me. They won't hire me either because they're too afraid I might leave them in a few short months (after investing all that intensive training in me) to go work for Burger King.
I'm only honest about those things now because it's too late for me to get ANY job now, let alone one in my last field of work. Maybe I'll never work again, who knows.
Just again this morning on CNN they said most of the jobs that were lost since 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2010, were probably lost forever.
Any new jobs these days go to younger people that are first entering the labor force. Old geezers like me are screwed. The "elderly" nowadays includes everyone that's over 40 years old...only they don't qualify for pensions, Medicare, Medicaid, or Social Security benefits...not even for discounts on their bus fares or at the noon matinee movies.
They're lucky if they can get food stamps and find a place at the homeless shelters. I called a Catholic charity and only got an answering machine saying they could no longer provide any additional services. The same thing for housing or utility assistance - all social services are stretched to the limit in most states.
I used to want to be younger man when I had a job, now I can't WAIT until I'm in a wheel chair or walking on a cane! Because then maybe I can get some damn assistance! I shouldn't have to sell pencils on the side walk or hold my hat out for spare change either. Not in America!
The jobs interviews aren't really "interviews" at all. They just call in a handful of old people every once in a while to make it look good, like they "tried". Most of the time the interviewer is younger, and unless you have the latest Blackberry or iPhone with a wired glued to your ear, they'll probably think you're not technically sophisticated or intelligent enough to adapt to the latest trends in the marketplace.
I smiled like a moron for these people, but to them, I must have looked more like the village idiot, because all I saw was pity in their eyes, not friendliness.
Maybe I should apply for a job as a damn clown. Maybe I'm not too old or overqualified for that position.
I'm already the village idiot, but that doesn't pay at all.
1 comment:
You're NOT an idiot, Bud! Anyont that can do what you do, with a computer (that is only Win 98 no less), is NOT an idiot!
Post a Comment