Re-Entering the Job Market: Return of the Living Dead

Wow! It was just like in the movie Return of the Living Dead when thousands of brain-hungry zombies, dead from a secret government experiment gone horribly wrong, had just suddenly re-appeared from out of nowhere. Jobs were added to the private sector for 244,000 re-animated unemployed bodies last month because all these "dead" people just miraculously became "hopeful" about the economy again...and "re-entered" the job market.

Happy days are here again!!! But how does one "re-enter" the job market after barely surviving a horrible government experiment in the banking industry - and after so many jobs have already been lost to China? 

All the talking heads on Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, and all my local news stations on TV have been telling me that hundreds of thousands of Americans had "re-entered" the job market last month. How? And who are they? Where did they come from? And why now, after all this time? Was it the beautiful Spring weather? Did they run out of beer? Did their wives boot them off the couch? Did the rent need paid? It appears that everyone in the news is just repeating what everybody else is saying. Why doesn't anyone explain to me how one "re-enters" the job market? 

From what I've been hearing, they're all telling me that everybody just became "hopeful" about the economy. If I'm hopeful, will I be counted as part of the job market, or do I actually have to look for work and apply for a real, but non-existent job?

If this is the case, how does the government know if someone is actually looking for a job? Did McDonald's send all their job applications to the Department of Labor's Bureau of Labor and Statistics? Or does the government just rely on all 50 states to forward their weekly unemployment compensation claims to them? (To be eligible, one must be actively looking for work).

But aren't there about 100 applications for every job opening, and about 6 people who need work for every job available? Are all of these people considered to be in the "job market", even if they're not working but are still LQQKING for work? Even if they're living in the streets or camped out in a tent city? Scary!

But what if a person has already exhausted all their unemployment benefits and can no longer file a weekly claim? Are they still counted as a part of the job market if they're still looking for work? And if so, how does the government know they're looking for a job? Are the "JOB POLICE" keeping track? Or are all potential employers required to forward all their job applications to the Department of Labor's Bureau of Labor and Statistics? Does someone with a name tag count the job applications and cross reference names to be sure the information is accurate, and that nobody is being counted twice? Scary!

If a person were laid off, then re-hired somewhere else, then laid off again...would they be considered part of the job market because they had once "re-entered" the job market before being laid off again? Or would they be counted as a "discouraged workers" and called a freeloader by John Stossel at Fox News? (That guy is really scary!)

What IS the "job market" anyway? Is it the total number of people who are of eligible working age, such as from 16 to 65? Or is the job market a total of all the people who are currently employed? How does one go about "re-entering" the job market if there aren't enough jobs? Can I exhaust all my unemployment benefits, but continue looking for work and still be considered part of this mysterious job market...and be counted as such? If so, how does the government know this? Do they have helicopters patrolling the neighborhoods looking for loiterers?

Or is the job market just those who are currently working, PLUS any new monthly hires that are reported to the Social Security administration, using W-4 forms that are submitted to the IRS?

If this is so, then just getting hired for a job makes you part of the job market, and being "hopeful" about the economy shouldn't have anything to do with it. I know lots of people who are still working and were never laid off that aren't "hopeful" at all about the economy. As a matter of fact, they started saving more money for fear of being laid off themselves.

If a desperate person had to take a job at McDonalds to pay a $1,500-a-month mortgage, does that mean that person was "hopeful" about the economy, and that's why they just got up one day after being unemployed for 3 years and went to apply at McDonalds? Because they were "hopeful" about the economy?

Or are all the talking heads just moronic idiots, parroting everything else they hear? Does Polly want a cracker? (The media scares me as much as the government!)

I've been out of work for almost 3 years, and haven't looked for a job since last October. If I became "hopeful" about the economy, and went to McDonalds to apply for a part-time job paying minimum wage, would I have then "re-entered" the job market, even though McDonalds didn't hire me because I was too old and hadn't worked for 3 years? Would the government say I was "hopeful" and that I "re-entered" the job market and count me in the unemployment rate anyway, because I was just so damn enthusiastic about the friggin' economy and got off my lazy ass one day to look for a job, any job?

Just wondering. If anybody has an HONEST answer for me, please let me know...but don't tell me about the CPS household survey. And please...just don't repeat the same old B.S. that I've been hearing on my TV set.

So the media has been gushing about a lousy 244,000 new jobs (not counting the ones that were also lost during that same period of time); but on this is where the liberal media and the conservative media will agree. They want you to believe that all these re-animated unemployed people feel more "hopeful" about the economy, and "re-entered" the job market because: The Democrats want us to believe they're doing a great job reigning in the big banks and saving the jobs from outsourcing, and the Republicans want us to have "consumer confidence" so that the corporations (who the GOP represents and who outsourced the jobs) can increase their profits and further inflate their stock prices. 

But 244,000 low-paying jobs does nothing for 7 million Americans who have already exhausted all their unemployment benefits and still can't find work...they have as YET returned from the dead, and they most likely never will. Corporate America and their political puppets have already buried them for good.