Sunday, September 25, 2011

Corporate Exceptionalism

I would like to form a corporation called Political Elections Inc., apply for a $1 trillion government subsidy, list my company's stock on the NYSE, elect myself as the CEO, pay myself $1 billion a year in company stock, hire a secretary to do all my work for $1 an hour, and buy a "company" jet and limo.

I would also like to start a super-PAC and donate $1 billion to the political party of my choice, which will grant me unlimited access to the White House -- which will enable me to suggest Supreme Court nominations to the sitting President. He can't say "no" to me, I just gave his party $1 billion! I got him elected! He doesn't answer to the voters, he answers to me! I own his damn ass!!!

I would like to influence the media, the courts, the laws, the politics, and the elections of the land...hence my company name, Political Elections Inc. -- I'd like to control law enforcement, the intelligence community, and the entire military defense industry -- essentially, I'd like to rule the entire country. If you rule America, you could rule the whole world!!! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!

I would also like to pay no corporate taxes, pay no capital gains taxes on my $1 billion company salary as CEO, and expect everybody else earning less than $20,000-a-year to fund safe bridges and highways, clean water, safe lobsters and Champagne, safe products on the shelves, safe limousines on the roads, better Ivy League schools, scientific research so I can live longer, space exploration, dams, power grids, safe medicines (so I can live longer), technologically advanced armies to increase and protect my wealth, and a border patrol to close my the borders. I want to benefit from all these things in some way, but I don't want to pay anything for any of them.

I also don't want to pay for Social Security or Medicare for old and sick people either, those who can no longer make profits for corporations. And when I lay off my secretary to save money, I don't want to pay her unemployment benefits either, or pay for food stamps to feed her little kids. I certainly don't want to pay for their healthcare! (Medicaid)

If anyone attempts to compete with me, I will either destroy them or buy them out -- and will hold a monopoly and corner the market on all goods and services -- holding the nation hostage to my extortion. If you don't pay, I will kill the hostage.

I could have my own Army (by proxy of the U.S. government), and open up "emerging markets" for my corporation in lands far away from home, increasing my marketplace. I could make my corporation a huge "multi-national" conglomerate, and build factories in Third World countries and hire the local natives for pennies an hour, while not having to abide by any labor or environmental laws. I could pay foreign despots and other brutal dictators for the privilege of doing business in their low-tax salve-labor countries. The taxes I pay to these foreign countries might some day be used to build an army to kill American soldiers in other future wars for oil or other natural resources. Countries like China could build a better infrastructure than America.

And if I break any laws and get caught, I would not have to spend any time in jail, and just be fined $1 and get a soft slap on the wrist for my crimes - "You were a bad boy!" - even if many human beings had become disfigured, mutilated, suffered and died. I have "limited liability", and won't have to take any personal responsibility for any of my actions. My Supreme Court will always rule in my favor.

I would like to smugly sit in one of my many 25-bedroom beach-front mansions, or on one of my elegant and luxurious yachts, surrounded by a bevy of beautiful escorts 20 years younger than me, and command one of my media empires to berate those who hold up their pathetic home-made signs protesting my abuse greatness and our unfair disparity in wealth. I would label them all as "whiners", drug addicts, Socialists, and bums...who only want a hand-out. How dare they!

I'd also like to call my police force to silence and imprison them if they would ever dare rise up against me, or criticize me for just being a good, noble, and patriotic "job creator". I would squash them like bugs, because after all, that's all they are.

If I were ever called upon to testify in front of Congress, I could plead the Fifth Amendment, spit in their faces, and call them all fools. As the wealthy CEO of Political Elections Inc., I'm almost a god!

I can't wait for the day when I can finally drive them all underground, the masses of scum, when I will no longer be forced to share the air I breath with them, or even the sunlight.

And if anyone objects to my business model, my special privileges, or my constitutionally guaranteed rights, I could call them un-American. After I lay my secretary off, I can call her lazy too. Isn't this what our Founding Fathers would have wanted? Isn't this what corporate capitalism and American patriotism is all about? Isn't this what's called American corporate exceptionalism?

God bless me and Corporate America!


  1. I like you, Bud. I like you a lot. I discovered your blog when I wanted to know an extra fact beyond the hoopla of Obama's "jobs bill", whether I might ever resume my Nevada UIB after being a 99er.

    This particular post is in your "denial" mode, like the one you wrote where you put down how hard you had worked, but called yourself "lazy".

    In my writing I put crafty suffixes and prefixes and let the absurdity reveal itself out of the statements without them being literally false and abstractly leveraged, mostly. I definitely like the English flow of truth. I alienate my readers, though, and tiptoe on the edge of what may be construed as a threat.

    I do not advocate punishment for lying, because, that can be fatal, and, I see no reason for depopulation based upon someone's expressions.

    I am posting here, and, I would like to partner with you in business; this morning, come to think of it it was a statement about employment, and, who made that was Wm. Bennet. Wasn't he drug czar? He said it very clear; the rate is 5, 10, and 15 %, for, college grads, high school grads, and non-high school grads.

    It was actually a front. The metamessage is, "stay in school", but it played on something you respond to, an idea that a person is a contributing member of society. I no longer wish to swallow that whole judgemental thing in order to defend my right to exist. I only trust that death must threaten people, or they tend to kill with impunity.

    Interestingly, the US Constitution used mathematical calculation as a device to show that slaves were not people, without using the word itself. It mentions Indians and freemen, and then says, "all others", and never explicitly commits the word to print. This is the 3/5 compromise, an example of education having served genocide. A second example is the "political mathematics" of Nazi Germany, where it was shown to cost too much to pay for the elderly, even at home. They began with "garbage children", before the war, and worked ther way up to the Holocaust. That number is a quarter. You need to be less Jew than that.

    The unemployment rate for college grads is still 5%. It was 2% five years ago, though. It doesn't have absolute security. With a degree, you supposedly know your neighbor without a degree will precede you to the gas chamber. But, the propaganda is there. My construction job payed $37, my tech job with the BA paid $13. One thing's for sure, a construction job with a degree is less secure. They don't like us.

    Not being liked is internalized as a disintegrative view of oneself. I can't say whether sacrificing 14 million people would bring the American economy back, but, I am sure I would not do Bennett any good should our paths cross.

  2. The following article by Dr. Paul Craig Roberts is a good read. He is basically saying the same things as you have posted on your blog.

    America and Europe: Saving the Rich and Losing the Economy